Deanaland

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Baby wipes can fix everything

By Deana Nall
Baytown Sun

Published February 15, 2006

This week I am paying tribute to the one item I truly cannot live without.

It’s the most lethal weapon in the Mommy arsenal. It’s the baby wipe.

You wouldn’t believe what you can do with baby wipes. Don’t let the cute babies on the boxes fool you. These things mean business. I have yet to identify the liquid they are soaking in, but I know it’s stronger than all my household cleaners combined.

(Incidentally, combining household cleaners is something you should never do. That’s the only thing I remember from my college consumer chemistry class. And I only remembered that after I, as a newlywed, threw some bleach and ammonia into my bathtub one day and started seeing visions of dead relatives.)

Here are some of the messes I have cleaned with baby wipes:

• Crayon marks on walls.

• Fingerprints on TV and computer screens.

• The crib mattress after the baby, who had nothing to drink after 6 p.m. and went to bed in a nice, dry diaper, managed to unleash a torrent of tee-tee during her sleep.

• Various bodily fluids that have been projected from my children onto my clothing.

• Mud on my shoes from walking across the front yard to discover that my 7-year-old had left the garden hose running for the better part of a week.

• Assorted substances that have been spilled, smashed, or ground into the carpet.

• A black mark high on a living room wall from one of my shoes. (Please don’t ask.)

• Dried baby snot. The stickiest substance on earth. “409” can’t even get that.

• My then-4-year-old’s hair, clothes and the upholstery of our friend’s vehicle after said 4-year-old threw up on the interstate in Colorado and the only building for miles around was a truck stop, where I had to give her a bath in the restroom sink.

Do you see what I mean? Baby wipes are like sanity-in-a-box for me. How they can make these things so powerful, yet safe enough to put on a baby’s bottom, is beyond me.

And there’s such a variety of wipes out there. You can buy the ultra-cheap ones that feel more like wet toilet paper. Or you can splurge on the ones that contain aloe, shea butter and Vitamin E to help “make softness one of your newborn’s first discoveries,” offers the Huggies Web site.

I even found a web site featuring recipes for making your own baby wipes. I think the site is run by a bunch of hippie moms because the ingredients call for things like lavender, tea tree oil and calendula flowers. But hey, whatever works.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that taking cleaning tips from me is like taking a gun safety course from Dick Cheney. Or “Proper Infant Car Seat Use” from Britney Spears. Or getting marriage counseling in Hollywood.

Well, my house may not be immaculate, but I’m seven years into this Mommy thing and, believe me, I know how to clean up a mess on the fly.

And on the floor. And on the walls, ceilings, light fixtures ...

16 Comments:

  • At Wed Feb 15, 06:42:00 AM, Blogger Sarah P said…

    I feel the same way about Lysol Kitchen Wipes. After we shop at the grocery store and buy raw meat, I use them to wash my hands as we walk out of the store. I'm not sure that this is the safest thing I've ever done, but you know, whatever works.

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 06:50:00 AM, Blogger Deana Nall said…

    My hands ALWAYS feel gross after I leave the grocery store. And after pumping gas. Who's been touching those gas pumps? And who ever cleans them???

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 07:33:00 AM, Blogger GraceSaves said…

    Okay...you guys are freaks! ;-) just kidding, I hate touching coins, now that's gross. But baby wipes are the best ever. I use them for my car, my face, my baby's face, her behind, the kitchen table, my feet if I walk outside without shoes on (which I do frequently). They're amazing! I don't think I will ever quit buying them.

    ><>In HIM<><
    Michelle

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 07:36:00 AM, Blogger "Snapshot" said…

    It's true Amen! I still carry a diaper bag size of baby wipes with me at all times and my kids are 14 and 10. I have a slogan they should use...."They aren't just for baby butts!"

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 07:45:00 AM, Blogger Cheryl said…

    ...baby wipes, Lysol Kitchen Wipes...I love them!
    We have limited space when we come back from our furlough's in the States, but baby wipes and the huge mammoth plastic bins with Lysol wipes ALWAYS make the cut! Someone also sent me floor mopping "wipes" that go on Swiffer thingys. I LOVE those too!

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 08:38:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Are you trying to get free wipes????? :-) Great post!

    Speaking of Cheney... Did you know Pat. did his residency in that hospital? He knows the hyper doc who keeps the media posted. That hospital has seen some weird things!
    cp

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 09:08:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is a great article......

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 10:47:00 AM, Blogger SG said…

    I haven't had a child in diapers in almost two years (yeah, that will soon change) but baby wipes are still a staple in our house and car. When all my kids are in school(a decade or so from now) I will probably still keep baby wipes around or resort to those lemony smelling thin "wet ones" in the cylinder! What did I do before baby wipes?

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 11:07:00 AM, Blogger Paige Robins said…

    OK, I'm definitely going to remember this when I become a mom.

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 12:27:00 PM, Blogger Alissa said…

    I don't know how many times I have been around someone with a spill on their clothing and my first response is to ask them if they have a baby wipe to get it off with. I will always offer one to someone, since I have them in my pruse as well as the diaper bag! I couldn't live without them!

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 01:29:00 PM, Blogger KentF said…

    The first time I saw the "miracle" of a baby wipe was over 15 years ago and it was literally on a church pew one Sunday evening. A mom was wondering what to do with some combination of ground in Cheerios, Teddy grahams, apple juice, and, ummmm, an unknown substance. Someone said - "hey I read somewhere to try a baby wipe for cleaning stuff up". She did, it worked, we all saw the light, and my wife has done the Deana trick mucho times over the past 15 years. I've watched, admired and coached her through many of those episodes.

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 04:01:00 PM, Blogger sarahdawn said…

    My seniore year in high school we (the marching band) did CATS. THe entire flag team went all out with face paint/makeup. We used baby wipes after half time to wipe it all off! I actually had baby wipes in my home before I had kids. I agree, they are possibly the best thing ever for getting ANYTHING clean.

     
  • At Wed Feb 15, 06:11:00 PM, Blogger David Michael said…

    Now about that shoe mark on the wall ... hmmmm

     
  • At Thu Feb 16, 12:36:00 PM, Blogger elizabeth said…

    I use baby wipes to take my make-up off with!

     
  • At Thu Feb 16, 02:15:00 PM, Blogger Mae said…

    I use baby wipes for everything... they took Laura Ashely Summer Pudding paint (think, dried blood red) off of my base boards and ceiling and out of of white berber carpet when I was too lazy to tape off and be neat. Yup ~ they're friggin' fantastic!!!

     
  • At Mon Feb 20, 03:19:00 PM, Blogger Diane said…

    As I found out today, they work great for cleaning up vaseline covered 2 year olds!

    I enjoy your blog - I can definitely relate.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home