Deanaland

Thursday, January 19, 2006

My baby girl is SEVEN


So there I was, lying on the operating table at Abilene Regional Medical Center.

And I had a secret.

I had wanted a girl. So badly. For nine months. And I hadn't told a soul.

We had decided not to find out the sex of the baby. Really, I told everyone, I'll be happy with whatever we have. And I would have been.

But I really, really wanted a girl.

The pregnancy was not easy. In fact, I still don't like thinking about it. I had a devastating, debilitating condition known as hyperemesis gravidarum. I was deathly ill for 15 weeks. My illness was so severe that it has permanently changed the way I think about and vote on abortion issues.

So you can imagine, after having come through all that, and lying on the operating table, that I would have been happy to have any baby. And I would have been.

But, oh, how I wanted a girl.

The surgery was weird. It didn't hurt, but I could feel it. (You C-section vets will know what I mean.) There were hands and arms inside my abdominal cavity and it felt weird. I was done with this. I tried to get Chad's attention to tell him that I was about to have a complete panic attack, but his eyes were focused on what was going on at the other end of the table.

So I closed my eyes -- hoping that if I concentrated hard enough, that I could somehow float far, far away from this.

Then a doctor's voice broke through my darkness. "You have a little girl!"

My eyes popped open. Did he say what I thought he said? I looked at Chad, whose eyes were still fixed at the end of the table. I knew he could see the baby.

"Yep! It's a girl!"

Then I knew it was true. My head sank back down on the pillow and tears of joy and relief and disbelief -- but mostly joy -- silently poured out of my eyes.

Sometimes life's most joy-filled moments are celebrated in complete silence. That was one of them. God of wonders beyond our galaxy. He had given me a little girl.

14 Comments:

  • At Thu Jan 19, 08:29:00 AM, Blogger Brian said…

    I'm just glad Julia came out, she's cool!!!

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 09:18:00 AM, Blogger Chad said…

    I remember that day like it was yesterday. The fear and anxiety seen in your eyes gave way to a completely different look when I showed you Julia that day. That pregnancy was one of those in which we just knew we were having a girl. It was an unspoken expectation even though we never wanted to know.

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 10:35:00 AM, Blogger Michael said…

    Congratulatons to Julia! Thanks Deana and Chad for being great parents and loving the Lord Daily. I miss you guys!

    -Michael

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 11:39:00 AM, Blogger SG said…

    Love the C3PO cake! There is a girl after my own heart. I secretly wanted a girl when we had Kolby...but I was afraid to ever admit it for some reason! Funny how sometimes you just know.

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 12:00:00 PM, Blogger elizabeth said…

    This post brought tears to my eyes. I think every mom secretly wants a girl but I know the feeling of being embarassed to admit it! Enjoy the day.

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 12:18:00 PM, Blogger Meredith said…

    What is it with pregnancies with girls?! I had a very tough one, as well. But they are so worth it!

    Happy Birthday, Julia!

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 03:07:00 PM, Blogger Tracy said…

    Happy Birthday little girl!!

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 04:12:00 PM, Blogger Paige Robins said…

    Aww, that made me cry! I can't wait to have kids. Happy Birthday, Julia!!! Enjoy your 7th year!!!

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 05:35:00 PM, Blogger Amy said…

    Happy Birthday to Julia, and to you as you celebrate seven years of parenting.

    From Mike's comments today I'm so glad you were blessed with your heart's desire after all the previous trials you endured.

     
  • At Thu Jan 19, 05:41:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy birthday Julia!! Love the Star Wars cake! Did you make it Deana? LOL :-)
    cp

     
  • At Fri Jan 20, 06:30:00 AM, Blogger Blogging by Tina said…

    I'm a C-Section vet, and I know EXACTLY what you mean! I felt a lot of tugging and pulling but no pain until the pain meds wore off.

    Happy Birthday, Julia!

     
  • At Mon Jan 23, 02:25:00 PM, Blogger WinniePhew said…


    And you know of course that this is one Pa Paw that couldn't keep buttons on his shirt ... they popped off every time I puffed out my proud chest ...

    God is so good ...

     
  • At Mon Jan 23, 06:45:00 PM, Blogger David Michael said…

    I had a premonition that I (really Phyllis) would have a boy, girl, boy "unspoken expectation."

     
  • At Tue Jan 24, 08:20:00 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    What a great post. I love remembering the times each of my kids were born. With my first, I was totally cool with whatever the child was, because I knew I wanted more. With my second, however, I desperately wanted a daughter and Andy knew it. I went so far as to try out the "How to Choose the Sex of your Baby" book. Theory didn't work. I think God was telling me to concentrate on just getting pregnant, and he'd worry about the sex of the baby! I felt blessed when it was a girl. I, however, couldn't wait until birth to find out!

    I've had several friends who had HG during pregnancies. I had "morning sickness" all through each of my pregnancies, but gaining weight still wasn't a problem for me.

     

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