Deanaland

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Can’t get enough of the cookies

By Deana Nall
Baytown Sun

Published February 23, 2005

Nine boxes of Girl Scout Cookies. That’s what we ended up with this year.

It has become our yearly tradition. Every January, my husband Chad and I have the same exact conversation. It’s usually at a restaurant following Sunday morning church services:

CHAD: Oh, don’t buy any Girl Scout Cookies because I bought four boxes from Kelly Bird this morning.

DEANA: Um ... I bought five boxes from Lauren Whitley this morning.

CHAD: Oh. Whoops.

And so it goes. Right now we’ve got two boxes of Caramel deLites and one box of Peanut Butter Patties in the pantry and four boxes of Thin Mints in the freezer. Two other boxes of Caramel deLites didn’t make it through the night. And we just got our cookies yesterday.

Which brings me to my problem with this annual inundation of cookies. Chad and I have no self-control whatsoever.

Oh, we act like we do. We give our kindergartener two or three cookies and say. “That’s all for today.” After she goes to bed, we can’t get into them fast enough. Sometimes we can’t wait until she goes to bed. That’s when we hide in the closet and eat them — attempting to muffle the crinkling cellophane under last season’s sweaters.

I really like the Thin Mints and the Peanut Butter Patties. But nothing, absolutely nothing, rocks my world like a Caramel deLite. Coconut, caramel, chocolate — it’s what makes life worth living. You can’t buy a cookie that’s anything like the Caramel deLite anywhere else, and every year I mournfully relish the last one — knowing I won’t taste anything so heavenly for another 10 months.

I could justify this gluttony by reminding myself that buying Girl Scout cookies contributes to a good cause. And that’s true. Girl Scouts have a 93-year history of building confidence and encouraging leadership skills in young girls, and I’m all about that.

But I guess I’m also all about stuffing myself so full of chocolate that I’ll either develop diabetes at a world-record rate or balloon to a size that would enable me to sell my car because I could just roll myself down the street.

This, my friends, is not a good cause.

Before I get too depressed, allow me to share my guidelines for consuming Girl Scout Cookies:

1. Never turn down a Girl Scout. She could be a high-ranking leader one day, and she’s got cookies to sell. Buy them.

2. Never, under any circumstances, should you read the nutritional information on the box. There are some things you just don’t need to know.

3. Don’t waste your time on the cookies that don’t have chocolate in them. I can respect the Shortbread cookies for being one of the oldest varieties of Girl Scout Cookies. But I don’t have to eat them.

4. If you observe Lent, do not give up chocolate. We live in a cruel world, and the fact is that Girl Scout cookies come in right smack dab in the middle of Lent. You’d either have to put them up until Easter or compromise your faith by tearing into a box of Thin Mints while no one is looking. Except for God.

My final piece of cookie advice: If the cookies are too tempting and cause you to lose all self-control, just eat all of them. Then they won’t be around to tempt you anymore. Which reminds me — I need to go make another dent in my supply. Just doing my part.

Deana Nall’s column appears every Wednesday. Her e-mail address is cldjnall@juno.com.

9 Comments:

  • At Wed Feb 23, 07:45:00 AM, Blogger elizabeth said…

    Oh I loved this post! You remind me of Dave Berry, my favorite columnist. I cried the day he retired.

    I must admit I am a peanut butter pattie girl myself, although caramel delights and thin mints are a very close second. I have also used the reasoning of eating all of them today so they don't effect my points tomorrow!

     
  • At Wed Feb 23, 08:12:00 AM, Blogger Susie said…

    LOL--you got me again, Deana! How funny! I am a sucker for the chocolate/peanut butter ones (are those peanut butter patties?) and thin mints are second. LOVE the guidelines! Keep typing, girl! ; )

     
  • At Wed Feb 23, 08:37:00 AM, Blogger Keith Brenton said…

    Your example of the cruelty in this world had me in stitches!

     
  • At Wed Feb 23, 12:16:00 PM, Blogger Beaner said…

    Oh - I loved the Carmel deLites when they were called Samoas - & boy did I want Samoa of them! Do you know that Edy's Ice Cream has partnered with the Girl Scouts & there is an ice cream w/pieces of the cookies in it??? GREAT for all year long! And proceeds go to the Girl Scouts too. Enjoy!

     
  • At Wed Feb 23, 01:22:00 PM, Blogger MDM said…

    Definately buy those cookies! My daughter is a scout and we dont have to pay dues for the following year if they sell enough.

     
  • At Wed Feb 23, 01:44:00 PM, Blogger WinniePhew said…

    Well, you have reminded me of a question I had a few weeks ago. I saw some Girl Scouts selling cookies out in the front of a super market. My wife (Mom) said I couldn't get any because they weren't on her diet.
    My question was/is, "Does that compute?"

     
  • At Wed Feb 23, 08:56:00 PM, Blogger SG said…

    I love Wednesdays on this blog! With you on all of it! I did not give up chocolate for Lent because I knew the Thin Mints were on the way!!! Just wish eating them would make me thin!!!

     
  • At Sat Feb 26, 06:06:00 AM, Blogger Clarissa said…

    OH, thin mints, how I love you. (Sounds like a good song, huh? Ode to Thin Mints?)

     
  • At Sat Feb 26, 06:51:00 AM, Blogger jettybetty said…

    This is soooo funny and true! We always end up with way too many boxes because you just can't turn down a girl scout. And the only way to NOT ruin my diet tomorrow is just eat them today! Thanks for the laugh! JB

     

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