Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Drowning in Blessings

Too much of a good thing. I guess that's what my problem is. I have a wonderful husband (more on that later), two beautiful kids, a great church home, a roof over my head. And lately it's all been getting to me. I don't know if this is normal or not, but sometimes I get so stressed and overwhelmed by everything going on that I feel it physically. This invisible weight just sort of settles into my bones. It's very strange. It's been happening again lately. Julia's been home sick, Jenna is ever-demanding, the house is completely out of my control, church-related stuff could drain all my energy if I let it, and there are people at church who are hurting with big, big stuff. Chad says I take on other people's problems too much. The wreck with the Highland kids really got to me, for a number of reasons. I witnessed the Copes lose a child ten years ago and the thought of them coming literally within inches of losing another one just sort of shut me down for a few days. And it happened in a Suburban -- I'm hauling teens around in my Suburban all the time. And there are people from my own church who need so much of the things I have in ridiculous amounts of abundance: a peaceful home life, a happy marriage, etc.

And just for fun, here's a sample of what happened to me yesterday:

- Julia came home sick.
- Our street is under construction and we can't drive on it right now, meaning I had to park at the end of our street and walk to our house in cold temps with a baby and a sick kindergartener and all the stuff that goes with each.
- The receptionist at the doctor's office asked if I knew we owed $371 for Jenna's last two appointments. (Umm, no, I didn't.)
- The drunk driver who rear-ended Julia and me a year-and-a-half ago left a rambling, somewhat incoherent message on our answering maching about how he really wants to get his driver's license back and could he set up a payment plan? What??!!!
- We learned that someone we care about is in a desperate, seemingly hopeless situation.

But here's the happy ending. I got home last night, completely drained and that weight-in-my-bones feeling about to knock me over, to find that my husband had cleaned the house, done more laundry than I had been able to do in weeks, laid out my jammies and house shoes on the bed, and written out some verses on humility for a class I am supposed to teach this weekend at Girls Reflecting Glory that I haven't been able to work on yet. So I hugged him and said, "Did I really think you were a dork for a whole year? Did I really pray that you would fall in love with someone else so you would leave me alone?" (That's a reference to when we were dating, or trying to date -- Carol Partin knows all about it!)

So today was much better, in part because I didn't leave the house at all -- lessening the chances of something bad happening. And because of Chad, I was home all day in a mostly clean house. So I guess what I have to say to those of you who aren't married yet... life is really impossible at times. Make sure you marry someone who doesn't just love you, but will cherish and honor you and put you above himself.


  • At Wed Jan 26, 07:30:00 AM, Blogger SG said…

    Oh I so understand the weight in the bones thing...except I think over the years I have added it to my actuall weight. I too had a shut down after all that happened with Chris. We had to have known eachother all those years ago. I too watched them loose Megan. I kept saying to myself that no Mom should have to do all this twice... but she isn't now. And birthdays (skipping around posts) I am planning a skating bash for 30 for February 11th. All part of the moomy gig I guess! Just wanted you to know that I am with you blog sister! AND I can't wait to ask Carol about you and Chad dating!!!


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