Forget basketball: This March Madness has candy
Published March 23, 2005
March Madness is here again. I don’t mean the March Madness during which every single television network shows basketball games around the clock. I’m talking about my own March Madness.
Just for fun, let’s take a look at what this week is like for the Nall family.
Early in the week, I’m chaperoning my daughter’s field trip from Travis Elementary to a one-room school in League City. We’re supposed to bring lunches that schoolchildren would have eaten in the late 1800s. And the food must be in tin pails. Apparently, Laura Ingalls Wilder did not own a Barbie lunchbox.
“Remember that canned drinks, boxed drinks and thermoses didn’t exist in 1898!” says the note Julia brought home the other day.
“You realize,” I told her. “That I’m going to have to go buy a hog and butcher it just to make you a ham sandwich.”
“Mom,” replied Julia, an avid animal-rights activist. “We’re not killing any hogs.”
So we’re going to cheat and sneak some Louis Rich into our tin pail.
We’re also supposed to dress like we live in the Little House on the Prairie. Maybe we’re going to churn butter or something. I’m glad I’m not pregnant anymore. They might make me give birth in a field.
I know the trip will be fun and educational. I just think the main thing we’re going to learn is that there’s a reason people don’t live like that anymore.
Just between you and me, I’m sneaking a Snickers and a Starbucks Frappuccino into my purse. Since this column won’t come out until the day after the trip, no one can stop me! Ha!
Thursday I’ll be heading back to Travis Elementary for the kindergarten Easter egg hunt and picnic. This time, we are allowed to bring food from the 21st Century. I also have to bring 10 plastic eggs filled with candy.
On Saturday, our church is having a spring carnival that also includes an Easter egg hunt. I’m supplying some candy for that, too.
And, because we set the precedent when Julia was barely walking, we will have our own family Easter egg hunt after church on Sunday at our house. This involves boiling eggs, dyeing them and hiding them — along with more candy.
How do you moms of multiple school-aged kids do it? How many eggs can you stuff with Sweet-Tarts before you can be declared clinically insane? I know where I’d end up — huddled in a corner of a nursing home lobby staring blankly at “Matlock” reruns.
“Why is she here? She looks so young,” visitors would inquire.
“Oh, it’s so sad,” the staff would reply. “Years ago, her kids had five Easter egg hunts in two days. She never recovered.”
Thankfully, God never gives us more than we can handle. This is why he gave me two children spaced almost six years apart. The only time they will be in the same school will be 2009 — the year Julia starts fifth grade and Jenna starts kindergarten. That’s the year I’ll be doing class parties in pairs. Two Christmas parties, two Valentine parties, two Easter parties... I’m getting a sugar headache just thinking about it.
I think I can handle it. Just fill my eggs with Excedrin.
Deana Nall’s column appears every Wednesday. Her e-mail address is email@example.com.