I Want a New Drug

On "Desperate Housewives" tonight they showed a stressed-out mom taking her son's ADHD medication so she could get everything done she needed to do. OK, I know I wrote a column last year criticizing Vivarin for targeting young mothers in their advertising. But I'm sorry, getting outside help to stay awake is tempting.

Take NOW for instance. Right now it's 12:30 a.m. My 5-year-old is sick and waking up crying every hour or so. The 2-month-old fought going to sleep and I finally had to drive her around the neighborhood for an hour. She'll be awake any minute now to eat. And my husband is worn out from the youth group retreat. He never sleeps when he goes on those things. So he's in bed -- practically in a coma. Plus the house is a mess and I'm sick of it being this way. So because of all of that, I might as well stay up for the night. It's easier for me to take care of my kids when I'm already awake than when I've been asleep. So drugs look good right now.

But then again, I'm breastfeeding. I may not care about becoming a drug addict, but I'd rather keep my social ills to myself and not pass them on to my child. So I'll just stay exhausted while trying to do everything for everyone.

And we're shocked that men age better than women?