Puppy toilet paper

Sunday, while putting up stuff from my store run, I plunked a package of Cottonelle toilet paper on the counter in the girls' bathroom. Later, when Jenna went in there to "do her business," I heard, "Mom! This stuff is for dogs!" Because there's a dog on the package, she thought we had been using toilet paper for dogs. You never know -- there could be a market for that. I do remember that when I was growing up, my dog didn't need toilet paper. Because we had carpet. Ewww.

The toilet paper was part of this week's adventure with The Grocery Game. This was my best week so far. I was thinking back to my pre-Grocery Game couponing days. I would cut coupons every Sunday and save a couple of bucks a week. Which I thought wasn't so bad, because if you add that up over the course of a year, that would come out to just over a hundred dollars. Well, I'm never going back to that way of couponing again. At Walgreens this past Sunday, I paid $7 for about $50 worth of stuff. Which is pretty easy when you're paying 50 cents for a package of razors that normally cost $8.29. Or getting free teabags that usually cost $3.29. (However, my gleeful shopping experience at Walgreens was marred Sunday when Jenna pulled down a display of skin care stuff right by the checkout. Luckily, the GLASS SHELF that slid to the floor and landed on her feet didn't shatter. The Walgreens people felt really bad and said the shelf wasn't balanced right. Aside from being scared half out of her mind, Jenna was fine.)

Then on to Kroger, where my original total was $116. After all the coupons, it was $71. So for less than $90 for the week, I was able to get everything we needed plus some stuff for my stockpile, which is growing. We're going to have to donate some of our bars of soap because we really have a ridiculous amount right now. But I keep getting it so cheap!

And yes, I voted today. We made it a family event. Chad held our place in line while the girls and I went on a doughnut run. I wanted to make sure Julia was standing next to me while I voted so she could witness something that wasn't even close to happening 100 years ago. 1) A woman voting, and 2) a woman voting for either a black presidential candidate or a female vice presidential candidate. (So HA! You still don't know who I voted for.) Just thinking about all the sacrifices that were made by so many people through history so I could do that today is mind-boggling. Julia's already saying she can't wait to turn 18 so she can vote. Pretty cool, huh?

I've been getting quite a bit of ink lately. You can go here to read my Arkansas Life (Nov.)article about specialty food shops in Arkansas, and here to see my feature on the historic Majestic Hotel in Hot Springs (Oct.) I'm also writing for the next two issues of Arkansas Life, and hopefully beyond.


And at your local Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, Hastings or other major national book retailer, you'll find my byline on p. 72 of Success for Women (look for Maria Shriver). I'm also working on several things for the next issue of ACU Today. So if you're ever wondering what I do while my kids are in school, there's your answer. (Although I've also been known to fold laundry while watching The Hills.)

Out of the mouths of... something

The other day, Julia's friend marched up to me and said, "Julia said you were pregnant five times!"

That threw me for a second because I thought she meant Julia said "My mom is pregnant" five times.

"Oh," I said, after I figured out what she meant. "Yeah, I was pregnant five times but three of the babies died."

"That is just CREEPY!" she said.

"Well, they're called miscarriages and they're actually fairly common," I told her.

"That is so WEIRD!" she said.

I was so stunned by this conversation that it wasn't until she stomped away and moved on to something else that I realized I probably should have said something about how rude it was for her to talk to me that way. I know she's only nine, but at nine I knew what a miscarriage was and I certainly knew not to charge up to someone who had experienced one (or three) and act like that.

The whole thing put me in a funk for the rest of the day.

Anyway. We're still going strong with the Grocery Game. I haven't paid for toilet paper since I started four weeks ago. Here's one of my latest bargains. The AirWick FreshMatic Ultra Automatic Spray usually sells for $11.99 at Kroger. They went on sale for $5.99 last week, and I got a $5-off coupon in the paper that day. So I got it for 99 cents! I got apple cinnamon and it makes the house smell all harvesty. The only thing is how LOUD it is. We don't really notice it during the day, but at night when the house is quiet, it sounds like someone is sneezing in the hallway every time it goes off. Scared me to death the first time it happened. Now we turn it off before going to bed. Anyway, I've been able to buy what we need for the week and stockpile stuff and I'm still spending a lot less than I did before. I used to spend $130 a week on groceries and now it's more like $70. I spent a little more than that this week because I had duplicate coupons and decided to stock up on a few things. We won't be buying deodorant until halfway through 2009 and we have more cereal than Jerry Seinfeld.

Grocery Gaming

This was our first week to do The Grocery Game. The Grocery Game helps you match up coupons with sales in stores to get groceries for ridiculously cheap, and sometimes free. You actually need to save up several weeks' worth of Sunday coupons, which we haven't had time to do yet, but we still got some good deals. Like a box of 24-count Tylenol PM, which started out at $5.49, then went on sale at Walgreens for 3.49, then I got a $2-off coupon from the Sunday paper, then an in-store coupon brought it down to 49 cents. I kind of wish I had saved this kind of money on something more exciting than sleeping pills, but STILL. At Walgreens I spent $3.71 on almost $14 worth of stuff, and also got some good deals at Kroger the next day. It will get better as my coupon file expands. One TERRIFIC thing about The Grocery Game: Wal-Mart is not included in their list of stores, so I drive to Benton to go to the Kroger there. The money I save on groceries more than makes up for the gas. I may never have to go to Wal-Mart again! One downside: Target is also not included in The Grocery Game's stores. If it ever is, my life will be complete.

A disclaimer for those who know us in person. Jenna is going around telling everyone she has a brother named "John." I guess it's her new imaginary friend. At school last week, her teacher was helping all the kids draw pictures of their families. When I picked Jenna up, she showed me her family picture. It was Daddy, Jenna, and "John," a guy with a beard. No Mommy and no Julia. "Uh, Jenna? Do we have someone in our family named 'John?'" I asked. Her teacher said, "She doesn't? She told me she did!"

I'm all about imaginary friends. Hey, I had a squirrel who rode around on my shoulder through most of elementary school. But I just want to make sure everyone knows Jenna does not actually have a brother named John that we've hidden away somewhere. And I'm wondering what do to with this "family" picture, which looks more like the premise for a 21st Century After-School Special: "Jenna and her Two Dads" or something like that.

Now from the Julia front: the other day Julia and I were in the car and Dire Straits' "Money for Nothing" came on. "Hey," I said, turning it up. "I used to really like this song." Julia looked extremely annoyed and said, "Turn it down. It's too loud." So I said, "You know what we used to say when I was a teenager? 'If it's too loud, you're too old.'" She just looked at me like I was completely insane.

That's the problem with us '80s people. Our parents didn't understand our music then, and our kids don't understand it now.