‘Carrot’ we all get along?

By Deana Nall
Baytown Sun

Published December 14, 2005

Oh, for heaven’s sake. Everybody have some egg nog and calm down.

Why is it that after 33 Christmases I’ve observed, this is the first year people are about to come to blows over what it should be called? Did we run out of things to gripe about this year?

So Target is selling holiday trees and holiday decorations. Does this mean we have to declare an all-out war? I was at Wal-Mart the other day and a greeter looked me square in the eye and declared, “Merry CHRISTMAS!” So I guess we know where they stand.

The truth is that nobody holds a monopoly on this time of year. Christmas means the birth of Christ to me, but it may not to you, and that’s OK. Pass the cheese ball. We can still be friends.

What bothers me the most about this silly controversy is the way it overshadows concerns that I think are a little more valid.

For example, the Veggie Tales Nativity Set.

If you’re out of the loop on Veggie Tales, let me explain. Veggie Tales is a series of videos that teach kids about morals and values through Bible stories. Vegetables, and an occasional grape play all the characters. At our house, we happen to be big fans of Veggie Tales. We have “Esther,” in which the Jewish race is saved by a green onion, and “Where’s God When I’m Scared?” which features, among other things, a cucumber named Daniel being thrown into the lions’ den.

(Keep in mind that these are real Bible stories being acted out by pretend vegetables. We all know that if you’re a cucumber, you should fare pretty well around a bunch of lions. If you’re a prime rib, then you’ve got problems.)

Anyway, back to the real controversy. Big Idea, the company that owns Veggie Tales, is marketing a nativity set made up of Veggie Tales characters. The wise men are a cucumber, a grape and some sort of squash. There’s an asparagus shepherd. Mary and Joseph are gourds. Here’s the part that gets me: Wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in the manger, is a baby carrot.

That’s right, folks. The Christ child, the long-awaited Savior of the world, is also an excellent source of beta-carotene and dietary fiber. Does this bother anyone else?

Meanwhile, the battle of the discount stores rages. Personally, I’d like to put a Target cashier and a Wal-Mart greeter in a room together and let them duke it out with their holiday/Christmas greetings.

But I’d better do it quickly. I predict that by next year, Target will have figured out that “holidays” actually means “holy days” and they’ll have to find another greeting.

In another couple of Decembers, we’ll see banners stretched out across storefronts that say, “WE GIVE UP. WE’RE SKIPPING AHEAD TO SOMETHING LESS CONTROVERSIAL, LIKE KIDS DRESSING UP AS DEVILS FOR HALLOWEEN.”

Whatever you believe or don’t believe about the first Christmas, there’s a nice little concept that came out of it known as “Peace on Earth.” I think this would be a good year to try it out.

And pass the eggnog back this way.